I set myself a loose deadline a while ago, it happened tonight, and I didn’t really meet it. Feeling pretty down on myself, but that’s nothing new, and nothing I can’t deal with.
I’m tired of feeling helpless and I’m tired of feeling sad and I’m tired of feeling angry. I’ve talked about how to know when to give up before, but I think I’ve figured it out and I think I’ve finally done it. It breaks my heart and makes me feel so heavy, but it’s also somewhat calming at the same time. There’s only one way to go now.
I’m still not sure if it was worth it, and I don’t know if I’ll ever figure that out. But I do know that I’m tired of these “pointless repinings” of what could have been. There is so much good in my life, and I lost sight of it for a quite a long while there. I’m going to start to clean up all the bad things, and move forwards towards the good. In the mean time, I’m going to go to sleep, because I’m just so damn tired…
HOLY CRAP, tumblr, I have been neglecting you so much!!! It’s not going to get better for a while though…
A lot of Wyoming and other western towns like to put on large festivals largely centered around rodeo. One you may have heard of is Cheyenne Frontier Days (who am I kidding, just look it up…). Laramie’s version is called Jubilee Days. Frankly, I couldn’t care less about rodeo shit. I’ve never been to one (really) and have zero interest. The REAL star of Jubilee Days are the street dances. Basically, about 6 blocks of downtown are marked off, and for three beautiful nights, open container laws are temporarily lifted in said areas. Pretty much the whole town comes down to get drunk in the streets together. It’s pretty glorious, you guys.
Also, Laramie has its very own Brewfest on Saturday afternoon, which is also incredible, and probably the highlight of the weekend.
So yeah. The next three days are going to be a terrifically awesome shitshow and I am likely going to hate myself come Sunday. Which is, of course, when I’m leaving for the field for our longest (6ish days) trip.
I do miss you, tumblr, and I promise I’ll be back soon. But in the meantime, I’m gonna get Jubilant.